Harvard to Name First Gay Female Impersonator President

PugBus.net – By Phil Maggitti

Cambridge, Mass. – Harvard is expected to name its first gay female impersonator president today in an historic outreach that MoveOn.org has called “a three bagger for diversity.” Harvard, the nation?s oldest university, has never had a female, much less a gay female impersonator, president in its 371-year history.

The appointment of Drew Gilpin Faust will plug not only the female gap but also the cross-dresser and homosexual gaps in Harvard’s presidential resume.

A source close to the university admitted, however, that despite its bleeding edge appeal the appointment of Ms. Faust was an eleventh-hour decision.

“We had been keen to have an African American president,” said the source, “but with all the hoopla about the Super Bowl?first African American coach to win a Super Bowl, first African American coach to lose a Super Bowl, 4,325th African American player to compete in a Super Bowl?we didn’t think an African American president would be a sufficiently dark-horse candidate, if you’ll pardon the expression.”