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Through the Looking Glass, Column 6

Manhunt Continued:
The Two Types of Men Who Might Be Interested


Today, I'd like to pick up where I left off last month. As promised, let's begin with the two types of men who might step out of the nightclub hubbub and take a shine to you or me: straight men and admirers. 'But aren't admirers really gay?' the most naive among us ask. 'Certainly not,' I say. The word gay, at least according to gay people, describes something very specific: men attracted men'in male form. It does not describe any man who does anything non-straight, no matter how much your angry ex-wife might say so.

The more informed among us know that admirers almost always come from the straight world, Tarzana rather than West Hollywood as we might say around here in sunny So Cal. I must admit I had a ball the first night I spent at the Mangy Moose, a rockin' dance club for older singles. I've never been so whirled and twirled in my entire life. But I wasn't nearly so popular the next time and soon learned that I'd been read and word had spread. Where before I'd been courted by twenty, now there seemed to be none. But with a little patience and a comfortable bar stool, I ultimately discovered there was always somebody looking to get up my skirt. And after talking for a little while, I could tell he'd read me or been tipped off, when there were too many references to my height or the 'great shape' I was in.

I recently compared notes over lunch with a beautiful, bright, little Filipino non-op TS, and what she'd gathered was so different, but really so much the same. 'I get a lot of guys hitting on me,' she explained, 'but when I tell them I'm T, they all back away, or at least 95%. I'd have to be post-op and stealthy to keep'em interested.'

But if a man stays interested despite learning her secret or realizing mine, is he just common Joe tempted to walk on the wild side or a simple Simon smitten by the singular charms of one Alice Novic (or Teresa Teruel), whatever she may really be? Whoever such men are, they seem to emerge mysteriously from the straight world, even for me still at forty-four years old, and I thank heavens for them. Who needs to think it through any further than that? No one! Okay, end of article . . .

Just kidding. I do. Maybe it's the former math/science geek in me'now trapped in the body of a transvestite, or simply the fact that I'm a psychiatrist. Or maybe it's just that I don't like surprises down the pike. But I've had to ask questions and learn as much as I could from what people say and especially what they do.

So what about that magic 5% of straight men who stay interested? Are they the same as the other guys? If the mood strikes, might any straight man consider a walk on the wild side? First of all, dear readers, don't answer this question based on your own experience as men. Because, whether CD or TS, you are not and never were a pure straight man, you're trans'and because of that you see and have always seen the world differently. To avoid this pitfall I surveyed three really good straight friends who had shared all kinds of secrets with me.

And, alas, all said they'd lose interest and have to bow out as best they could, if they learned they were getting involved with a transwoman. It seems that these three, at least, are just plain not oriented to us. 'If I was already in love with her,' one, who happened to be a doctor, said, 'then it would be a bitter pill to swallow, like learning she had Herpes or MS.'

Fortunately those rare strangers who do come out of the woodwork for lovely but not bulletproof gals like me seem to resemble the admirers we're more familiar with at our tranny clubs. For them we're not some kind of icky imbetween, but the best of both worlds. Bless their hearts. Are they are they simply some small renegade percentage of straight men? I kinda wish that were true, and maybe it is with respect to one or two. But I think many of you love-to-femme TGs know who these guys are. They're you and me when we were going through a trans-admiring phase. Maybe they're just passing through too. Or maybe that's where they're happy to stay. After sharing confidences with many admirers over the years, I've come to believe that Deep inside every chaser beats the heart of a tranny.

Why do these men, who are really love-be-femme TGs, not want to dress up themselves? Why settle for soaking up someone else's thrill and rather than going out and getting it for themselves? And why do they tend to be a more sympathetic but often homelier bunch than gay men and even regular straight men? Tune in next month and find out, same Bat Time, same Bat Channel.

Life's rich, complex, and full of possibilities. Be careful and enjoy!

Alice Novic, M.D.

To learn more about me than you'd ever dare to ask, please see my smart, sexy memoir, Alice in Genderland: A Crossdresser Comes of Age.

Also, if you wish to eMail Alice with Questions, Comments or Topics for Future Through the Looking Glass Articles, feel free to send her an eMail at Alice.novic@verizon.net or to Post any Comments below.

 

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