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Through the Looking Glass, Column 19

Analyzing the Poison

Welcome back Through the Looking Glass, my friends. Today, I’d like to offer you all something I’ve never done before in print. About a month ago, my CD friend Lilly broke up with a man who wasn’t treating her with the kind of respect she’s used to. He took her on some cool dates but kept referring to her as a man. Determined to have the last word, he then sent her this poison-pen email. Which I suppose is simply life in the big city - except he had to drag me into it. Other than the fact that he insults me terribly, I appreciate this fellow's candor and his misguided attempts to seek the truth. And that’s why today, I’ll be analyzing his poison. (Please don’t read beyond this point if you are below eighteen years of age or are offended by sexually explicit content.)

So Lilly, I’m supposed to forget that you spent all week working as a man and are so ashamed of who you are that you won’t even tell your own family?
In actuality, Lilly has come out to her son and only brother. The only family member she hasn’t told is her elderly mother. Hardly what I’d call shame or even secrecy. But the more interesting question this spurned lover raises is “How can I forget Lilly just spent all week working as a man?’ I guess that might hold some admirers back from finding a part-timer attractive. But it didn’t really hold this one back - just ask Lilly herself. Yet it is, apparently, what kept Mr. Poison Pen from treating her fully as a woman.

If you're not on the fast track to having your dick removed and doing everything in your power to being a woman . . . you're not.
Well thanks, at least, for that, Mr. PP. At least, you’ll grant female treatment to some of our people but they better be 24-7, fully committed, and ready to prove it with surgery. Who are you? The U.S. government? What about non-op TSs? What about us MTFs who choose a life short of full transformation and transition. Don’t we deserve a little respect in our girl time too?

Or maybe it’s just that you really don’t think even post-ops are women, but you’ll begrudgingly defer to them. Okay, now we’re talking. As an experienced psychiatrist, I’ll concede that transsexuals, whether they started out as straight or even as gay men, are not the exact same as genetic females; they’re something in between. But that doesn’t mean that they should be treated like men when they, or anyone like them, is out making the effort to be female on a full - or part-time basis.

Alice is married, goes out to find some guy to fuck her in her ass,
Well, with any luck! ;-)
Actually, it’s not so much a matter of luck these days; I’m happily back with Frank, and we’ve just reached our eight-year mark.

And she's "straight"?
Now, Mr. PP, I’m still not sure why you’ve brought me into this, but I’ve never said that, anywhere. I always say I’m bisexual, or if there’s a reason to be more specific, I say, “When I’m a woman, I like men. And when I’m a man, I like women.”

She should have her license revoked.
And you’re qualified to make that call? What are your criteria? Whether someone agrees with you or not? Aside from it being ridiculous, that was a very nasty thing to say.

Two TGs get together and suck each other’s cocks or one fucks the other in her "ass pussy" and they’re "lesbians"? Please!
Well, here at least, you’re off my case and Lilly’s too, and you have a bit of a point. MTF TGs of any sort are not the exact same thing as genetic females, so when they connect sexually, they’re not the exact same thing as lesbians. Even if a GG and a post-op are together, it’s not a pure lesbian connection. It’s truly it’s own specific thing. Still, I’d suggest the term lesbian comes closer than gay or straight, and, in the right context, is a rather convenient shorthand.

There is a reason why the medical community considers transgenderism a psychiatric condition and not a physiological one. It is.
Good point - sort of. Do you even know what a psychiatric condition is? It’s a neurological condition that we, as of yet, don’t understand. It’s not any condition that arises from foolishness, confusion, or bad habits that people should be able to snap themselves out of.

And TGs put me down for having sex with men when that's what most of you are.
Well, Mr. PP, at least you hold yourself up to the same kind of magnifying glass you hold us up to. I respect that, and I’m sorry that some of my sisters have shamed you for your man-on-man encounters. We’ve got as many bad apples as any other bushel does. But really, you’re okay, and they’re okay.

Good luck, dude. You'll need it.
Truth Man
Well, Mr. PP, I don’t think Lilly is the one who needs it. But I do wish you good luck and more generosity of spirit as you continue to seek the truth and call it as you see it.

Life's rich, complex, and full of possibilities. Be careful and enjoy!

Alice Novic, M.D.

To learn more about me than you'd ever dare to ask, please see my smart, sexy memoir, Alice in Genderland: A Crossdresser Comes of Age.

Also, if you wish to eMail Alice with Questions, Comments or Topics for Future Through the Looking Glass Articles, feel free to send her an eMail at or to Post any Comments below.


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