The 10 Commandments
Three months after the Israelites left Egypt sometime around 1445 BC, they stopped at the base of Mount Sinai to rest. During that time Moses was summoned to the summit of the mountain and given what we refer to today as The 10 Commandments. The first version of the Ten Commandments is described as having been engraved in stone by God. I'm sure we have all seen the movie, and I often wonder if hollywood's visual portrayal with Charlton Heston is in any way similar to how it actually happened.
Even though God created the 10 Commandments on Mount Sinai over 3000 years ago, these commandments are still relevant today. The positive message and moral value has not changed. Interestingly enough the actual phrase only apears three times in the bible. It's not commonly known but God is said to arrive in a thunderstorm, and called Moses to the mountains top on the first day. God tells Moses to keep the rest of the people away for several days while Moses gets a monopoly on hearing what God has to say. When Moses see's what the Israelites have been up to while he was up on the mountain, he throws the tablets down in irritation and breaks them. Since Moses broke the original set in anger, God had to create a copy, as recorded in Exodus 34. The third set referenced in Deuteronomy is often considered to be a review of the two previous sets.
As impressed as you would be if I showed up riding a thunderbolt and chiseled my articles into stone with lightning; I doubt they would be nearly as useful right now. Besides, have you ever tried to send a stone tablet by email? Well I was going for super dramatic and all I could manage was this latest digital tome so I hope you like it better that 500 hundred pounds of granite piled on your desk and a power outage.
In many ways Moses was very lucky. He had a higher power give him a list of really solid well thought out rules to live by. Our community is not so lucky. Most of what we learn or what we know is passed around from one girl to the next and from endless internet searches. One thing that I have never found is a really solid list of things for us to live by. Sure there are a million or so websites with tip's on makeup, hair, and shoes; but what about the final destination?
As many of you know I have been doing more performing lately and have done quite a few benefit shows and performances. One was for the food pantry here in Dallas and another one is for an AIDS charity later this month. I truly love to do those shows and as a woman of class that's what is expected. That's right, Classy girls give freely of their time and expect nothing for it. I was pretty dissapointed that CBS, NBC, ABC, CNN, etc, were all to busy covering the latest Brittney meltdown or who Paris is sleeping with to care. You see the media today has made being a whore and a slut all the rage. Movies and Tv are pushing all of us on multiple cultural fronts to be "empowered" sexual beastesses, and this is in spite of the plague like spike in STD's.
In addition to hollywood's brainwashing attempts to mold us into brainless ditzes like one of Hef's chicks; our culture has also made being a Reality TV, whiny, nerve-grating, girlicious drama queen bitch simply wonderful too. It seems like the general rules for the modern woman are three things: 1. be spiteful, 2. be narcissistic, and 3. be a foul mouthed slut.
I can almost see some studio executive screaming by golly keep selling them lot's of sexual inuendo, it's so much better than a solid story or an actual plot!
With all this useless tripe flooding our lives and the never ending stream of sexual imagery hitting us from all angles how are women like us supposed to sort it out. Every group has it's culture and it's counter culture, need I mention their "agenda's" whatever they may be. Since I began this column, I have been getting a lot of questions about being a lady. No I'm not talking about the fact that I'm a female, but the aspects of womanhood that make a girl classy or trashy. When I preform, I play the sex kitten and gyrate incessantly around the room, but that is all for show and not for everyday. When I go out for the night do I look trashy? Perhaps..... a little... Ok... A lot in a sexy librarian kinda way. However that does not nor will it affect weather I have class, grace and good taste. Besides without good taste how on earth would I enjoy an Appletini?
I'm sure by now you are just desperate for your sweet digital diva to get to the point, so have a seat ladies and let's get out that hot chocolate shall we. Obviously as we sit here on the couch all warm and comfy this month I'm not going to give you a religious sermon. I would have hoped you knew better by now. However if you haven't figured it out yet, I am, as usual, going to set the bar a tad bit higher for my sisters. Incidentally, I have always wondered that while you may not covet your neighbour's wife, there is no mention of coveting your neighbour's husband? Just something for you naughty little tarts out there to keep in mind.
I am going to give you the ten comandments though, and the wise girls here will follow them and those who don't well..... Umm...... Just follow them ok!
Thou shalt keep your knees together:
Every day I get "love letters" from guys who say they want me. Quite often I will direct those who actually interest me to this very column, in the hope that they will overcome their fears and do what it takes to pursue me. Only a handfull have ever sent me a note after that and most can only manage one or two very short letters. Most talk a good game but that's all it is, guy's will say just about anything to convince a girl to give them a profound religious experience. Never forget that every man wants a whore but no man will keep one for very long. The problem lies not in their attempts at seduction but in their own self image. The vast majority of guys who see us, or chase us, are so mired in denial that they just can't admit what they really want. Ladies just about any guy who want's to make out with you is so deep in the closet that not even Herrenknecht would be able to dig him out. That's why none of them want to take you anywhere or ever be seen in polite company with you.
I'm not advocating severe piety or chastity but trust me girls, most of the "men" who lust for us are far to cowardly to actually meet you in the light of day; no matter how good you look. Why should you reward them early or at all for it? Girls, as always there are exceptions, and I'm sure there are some guys out there that are genuine saints, but unfortunatly they are the minority. So girls unless you're getting paid for it, or the guy is willing to meet you in the middle of the afternoon then don't waste your virtue on him.
Thou shalt choose the language of yummy:
Many of you who adroitly peruse these sanctimonious missives have often noticed the effervescent way each thought flows into the next. It's perhaps my own little brand of sillines and madness. I thoughtfully chisel out a little bit of delicious mind candy for you each month in the digital world as evidenced by you just reading this line.
As many of you know I use a magnanomous amount of twenty dolar dollar words and weave them together on this canvas almost as well as rembrant would have. Now I could just as easily written that I write a column here but that is just soooooo 21st century. Obviously the point is that you should learn how to speak and write in a fun way, rather that just grumbling out the less than interesting conversations you're used to. Girls, just be creative and find new ways to express your thoughts. Use colorful and unusual words to paint a picture worthy of the louvre. Increase your feminine vocabulary ladies. Use language that reflects your soft feminine personality rather than tarnishes it with trash talk.
Women who have class are always very well spoken and use words that are nearly dead today. It also means she doesn't slap, spit or drop the F-bomb for dramatic effect to be "hip" and "cool". Women are far more descriptive and a joy to listen to when they are eloquent and use delightful language. Just ask yourself why you're one of my very wonderful and loyal readers?
Is it simply because I have long red hair and big knockers.....OR
Is it because my radiant hair cascades across my sleek shoulders ever so gently in a fasion reminicent of a springtime brook while it gently caresses my pendulous globes of feminine desire as they heave upon my chest? That ladies, is the language of yummy!
Thou shalt never flaunt your assets:
Women who show a lot of skin to be feminine, are in reality compensating for lazyness and a lack of self esteem. looking good is never about how high your hemline is, your unholy amount of cleavage, or is it about the height of the heels you have on. I never show a lot of skin to get attention, and I dont have to. As I have said many times dressing in an alluring or figure flattering manner is just fine, but there are much more interesting ways to attract the right kind of attention while still showing very little.
Take just a moment and think about Paris Hilton, Britney, Omarosa, and Lindsay. None of them will ever have class. None of them have ever contributed anything to anyone but themselves. If you do the polar opposite of what they do you will be a very elegant and delightful lady that isn't hiding behind daddy's cash, questionable talent, a multi million dollar PR team or fifteen minutes of undeserved fame.
Girls if you really want to avoid the drooling troglodytes and be taken seriously as a classy woman avoid wearing your stripper heels to church. Send the message to the men out there by the way you dress that says you're sophisticated and elegant, not sleazy and easy. It's extremely rare that I wear anything very low cut and people always tell me how sexy and alluring I am. Frankie has told me I have the sexy librarian, or sultry and demure executive down to an art. The reason is very simple, I leave everything to the imagination just like a classy woman should.
Thou shalt not be the only star in the room:
Classy women will always do what needs doing rather than play the diva and expect everyone to wait on her. She is always asking what others might need, and not what she can be given. Walking around like the psycho chicks in LA in a pout pretending to be the next angry supermodel is not impressive to anyone but themselves. I never get offended by someone who wants to introduce themselves to me or learn more about me. Being totally self absorbed and dismissive in a rude or callous way is very unattractive in a woman. Ladies with class always smile, they are never sullen nor vexed by anything. Women are programmed not to hinder, but to H-E-L-P. A classy woman sees a need, and if she can assist then she helps, she is there to serve others not be served.
A few weeks ago while I was doing a show with Chanel, James came up to me with an urgent plea, saying he needed my expertise. So I followed James and he showed me the network issue that was in urgent need of attention. I imediately did my best to fix it. The last thing on my mind was how to bill it or who to give an invoice to. He needed help and I could help him, so I did. Without James in the DJ booth there would be no show, by helping him I was helping not only myself but all the other girls. Always being in the spotlight is not what gives a woman class, it's what she does when she is in it.
Thou shalt be courteous:
As many of you know I have been going to the Village since the mid 90's. In all that time I have become good friends with many of the staff there, from the block manager all the way down to the people who sweep the floor. Even now after all of these years I still say please and thank you to Stacy every single time he serves my drink. The best part is he always gives me a little wink that is just adorable. When you order a drink say thank you, say please, it takes but just a moment and you will let that person know that you value them.
Onyx does this constantly. Everytime she speaks with someone she always says "yes sir" or "yes ma'am". It's one of the things that has made her even more endearing to me personally. Aspen also does this, she is always extremely polite and has a kind word to say to everyone she meets. When someone askes you a question never reply with "Huh?" "What?" or "Yeah." It's "Please", "Thank you" or "Yes or no thank you". Be the woman who respectfully asks and never demands. Why you might ask? Well my delightful reader it's because all people are created in the image of God and should be treated with respect until that person shows they don't deserve it.
The classy girls always apreciate what people do for them, and are very grateful for the service offered by others. Women who have class show it by how polite and respecful they are. Besides, by speaking politely we won't ever know just how shallow and absolutely crazy you really are. Trust me, it really works.... All of you love me....... Dont you??
Thou shalt not be duplicitious:
It never ceaces to amaze me how often I'm told that I am very aproachable and down to earth. Obviously I love hearing this but I often wonder why it's so often. If you would like to know why then continue to follow along my delightful reader. You see, many people tell me this because whether you meet me in K-Mart or Sak's I'm the same woman, well almost anyway. Eagle says I write a lot louder than I speak but I trust it was just a metaphor. Speaking of Jeff, he recently sent me a note to let me know he was in town from Canada. I had agreed months before that should he ever find his way here I would be delighted to meet him for coffee. Well not only did we meet, but I took him to see Eliie Mae who was working at the Cruse Inn; and then we went to the village. He also met many more of my other friends because of it. The coup de gras was him showing me the inside of his truck, which was quite nice I might add. If you would like to know what transpired ask him, I'm certainly not going to tell.
Stacy told me just last week how nice I was, I say this not to be self engraciating but to illustrate the point. Ladies, the classy girl is not phoney or flaky. If she comits to something she is dilligent in pursuing it. You wont hear a never ending stream of excuses as to why she can't meet you or is suddenly to busy to talk. She doesn't suffer from multiple personalities depending on where you find her. Girls if you're always honest and truthful people will definitely notice and apreciate it.
Thou shalt be kind and loving:
With the previous self adulation behind us we move on to being kind to others. Recently on another site I frequent, another woman has show an incredible lack for this simple quality. Claudia is just about everything that's wrong with our communities public perception. She feels that nobody is as attractive as she is. Nobody could possibly know more about transition than she does. Everyone is lacking in experience or substance of any kind but her. She is a narcisist of the highest order.
The reality is that Claudia does not love herself and suffers from a horrifically low self esteem. She is rude, calous, and insulting to anyone who does not share her quite narrow veiw of womanhood. The only way she can elevate her own image is by knocking others down in an attempt to rise above them. She fails miserably in that endeavor because of her blindness to her own inadequacy. In order for you to be able to love someone; you must first love and accept yourself. Many of the men who persue us also lack this precious quality. For some reason looking down on women in transition, or ridiculing us, or treating us as mere sex toy's, is the only way they can feel superior.
Personally, I truly love being a woman, I love nearly everything about it honestly. Sure it's difficult and often very painful, but that has little to do with my love and acceptance of who I am. If you decided to become a woman, accept that it's who you are and what is involved in it. If you're a man who desires us, then relish in it. Accept yourself first so the rest of us can join you.
Classy girls love men. We love them not only for how they make us feel, but what they do; to us and for us. We know men can sometimes do quite foolish things and we understand why they do them. However that won't stop us from being kind and still showing them the love they deserve.
Thou shalt be humble:
A woman who has class never raves about how much she is worth finacially or where she went to school. Fancy cars, and a posh address afforded by certain advantages whether she earned it herself or daddy warbucks gave it to her are not on her mind; unless she is using them to cover up an attitude of entitled arrogance or complete lack of character. She never feels the need to show off who she is. A classy girl knows that even with success and achievements she can still be a royal pain in the behind and a horrible person. Ladies spend less time trying to dazzle people with your Dolci and Gabanna and more time pursuing the hidden qualities and internal virtues which make women truly special.
No matter how much you spend on your wardrobe, or which of your favorite designers you wear it's less important than you think it is. Believe it or not I am very frugal, and when it comes to that new gown I'm looking for a bargain. If people actually knew how little I paid for the outfits I wear they would faint I'm sure. When someone notices how well dressed you are or makes a comment about those cute earings; apreciate it without being boisterous about how much you spent. Not everyone can afford the best and it's often foolish to overspend on such things. Looking like a million dollars is less about the price paid and much more about flattering your figure.
Thou shalt be graceful:
A graceful woman never has a problem waiting for her turn, she is not standing there tapping her toes impatiently with a scowl of disdain. Many nights that I'm out and about weather it's the supermarket or the village it's busy. Yes we all are in a hurry, yes we have "things" to do, but being patient, apreciative, considerate, and polite are those small little things that let people know you are a cut above and not the average patron. No matter where you are you can clearly see if it's busy or not. Just look around and observe the tension as everyone floods to the checkout line. Try to always keep in mind that it's a person behind the register who has already dealt with a gazilion people long before you showed up. The bartender is the one who suffers while you are out having fun. It's the policeman who has been spit on and cursed all evening before he stopped you.
One night after leaving the Village I stopped in Panda's to say goodnight to Frankie as he had an after work meal. I wanted to thank him for walking me to my car the night before and we entered into quite an animated political discussion. Aside from the obvious fact that I'm a female, during our conversation I asked him to order my meal for me. Why you might ask? Regardless of our oposing veiwpoints in the discussion I'm still a lady and refuse to be treated as anything else. Incidentally he confided that it's one of the things that he absolutly adores about me. Being graceful is always about showing deference to others first.
Thou shalt not be a trollip:
Each and every one of us, including your humble hostess would like to be desired. Just about everything we wear is designed to accentuate our attributes and negate any flaws. However, you choose to show your feminine style try to remember we're not all Kimber James. Besides that, most of us will never be able to actually do what she does no matter how much we may wish we could. For the rest of us if we always endeavor to keep photo's tasteful, and mildly erotic at their worst, we will be much better off.
Whatever you post online will never go away, never dissapear, and will certainly show up at the least opportune time. I'm sure all of us would just absolutely love all the "perks" of drugs, STDs, crime and masturbatory stalkers/rapists a life in the porn industry can give us, but those are just the highlights. I have often said before I have no problems with the fantasy of the adult entertainment world. I even occasionaly marvel at it's power and influence. That does not mean that I actually would like to be a part of that salacious enviroment. Sure there is a quite visible glamourus side, but there's also the rotting sewer that runs beneath it.
The more photo's you post online and the more racy they are will surely lead to someone you know seeing them eventually. This is especially true for our sisters still in the closet. Posting photo's is fun and liberating in may ways. Classy girls lives don't revolve around the daily photo contest though. Having a few nice pictures is more than enough to showcase who you are physically, but when it's all you can think about doing you're sacrificing what's on the inside. Classy girls are more interested in how beautiful their hearts and their minds are than their chests.
The big finish.....
Ladies I would imagine every single one of us has commited the sin's I've listed above. I sure have more than once. The goal is to live life to the fullest and always work towards improving our own self worth and self image. As always my only real request is that you try to be the best you can be and avoid these pitfalls at every opportunity.
Could I possibly get an AMEN!!
If you have a suggestion for a topic you would like to see addressed feel free to write me through my profile on URNA. Also, feel free to Post and Comments below. If you would like to know more about me or are just curious don't be shy, reply.
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