Out and About with Michelle Hart – Column 22

Do you wanna date my avatar?

As many of you know I spend very little time in the chartrooms, or the forums here, and I don’t have a facebook account or a myspace page either. While I am listed on several websites it’s just to much of a hassle to deal with all the online communities that exist now. I know that’s quite a sad state of affairs for your sweet digital diva but I actually do have a pretty expensive Hoover to play with and a beautiful candy apple red washer and dryer with a very impressive selection of buttons to push. Sadly ladies this brings us back to that very cute leopard print settee with those adorable red satin pillows as we settle in for a little hot cocoa tonight and our latest dose of questionable reality. Granted it could still end up as complete fantasy depending on which one of you over poured the Bailey’s. Before we delve into this months hot topic though I would like to say thank you for taking the time to read each month, and especially to those who have shared their comment’s. I truly do appreciate them, regardless of weather we all agree on the issues or not. Each small note absolutely means the world to me. Now, with that little bit of cotton candy out of the way let’s jump right in shall we?

Hang with me in my MMO, so many places we can go, you’ll never see my actual face, our love, our love will be in virtual space….

It’s just a fact of life that any reasonably attractive girl is often randomly solicited in the never-ending quest for some intimate and lascivious nighttime fun. While it’s usually a nice ego boost and can often be immensely flattering in an amusing sort of way it’s also just a tiny flicker or a small spark rather than the much preferred raging bonfire. Over the years thousands of men and even some women have sent me love letters, winks, come on’s, and nearly all manner of cat calls that I rarely if ever will respond to. Besides that, since most are still paying their ex-wife’s bill’s or house payment’s they’re really not going to have the money or time left to invest in anything serious with me or you. When their marriage is on the rocks and they just happen to be cruising the bars in search of a little something extra it’s primarily about their own selfish fantasy fulfillment and never really about building any kind of normal life with you. Trust me girls, he wont ever leave his current wife of girlfriend for you. They never do. All his verbal seduction is just that, wonderful and sweet, but it’s still just mindless talk. Unless you have a body like Gina Lynn, in some rare cases he might show up for that yummy dinner, but he will also be persistently absent when the check arrives to pay for the meal.

I dated a guy for a while who made an odd comment that he just loved all the women like me that he had dated previously. Going on to say it was because we always had such sexy and appealing underwear and that he hated that all the natal women he had dated in the past never got all dolled up underneath anymore. Honestly it really blew my mind how insensitive this was, and it was also pretty insulting not just to me but ALL women. I realize he was trying to compliment me, but it really wasn’t a compliment at all. When a woman goes out and spends hundreds of dollars on lingerie it’s very rarely for her. It’s almost always for some man she has the hot’s for. Farah and I had a very long discussion about this one night after she had met a complete idiot for a blind date. He actualy tried to convince us that “a theory” and “a guess” were completely different. That’s why women usually know when somebody is going to be getting a long look at that sheer black lace way before they do. Normally there are just a few questions women ask when we delve into our panty drawer. Is it clean… Is it comfy… Will it show through my blouse… And does it fit. That’s it, that’s all, and that’s the real world ladies.

I’m craving to emote with you, so many animations I can do, be anything you want me to be, C’mon, c’mon, and share a potion with me….

Granted there actually are days when we might put something a little racy on underneath but in those cases it’s usually about a badly needed self image boost, and the simple desire to feel powerful, or just a deep need to feel special in some way. We already know that we may just be sitting in that board meeting and that nobody can actually see what we have on underneath. Most often feeling sexy can be that tiny little bit of extra girl power that we need to get us through the agonies of a long day. Fella’s there really are times when we just don’t feel like living up to the fantasy girl image or have any desire to play the seductress. Sometimes just wearing an old faded pair of jeans and a oversized shirt is far more appropriate than those six inch stiletto heels you think are so dam hot. Adolescent fashion experiments usually fail miserably when you’re over 22 and often most women lack the figure for that naughty school girl outfit you happen to be thinking we should be parading around the mall in.

Life as a woman is tough regardless of weather it’s employment, dating, or public relations or interaction. While there is a certain delicious mystique all women posses and many learn how to cultivate it wonderfully in our daily lives, it does take a tremendous amount of dedication and hard work to artfully refine it. A woman’s fashion sense, carriage, poise, grace and pleasant attitude are each exceptionally valuable components of what make each of us special and unique. These are all qualities that ONLY exist in the real world. How you interact with others and how you meet the challenges of public life can often be easily hidden by the digital world but will rapidly manifest themselves with extremely dire results when the blinding light of reality shines down from above. There are days you just will not look your best, times when a garter belt and a thong just is not a very practical choice and plain old dull white cotton is definitely more comfortable to wear and MUCH more appropriate. This ladies brings us to tonight’s topic….

Do you wanna date my avatar, she’s a star, and she’s hotter than reality by far, wanna date my avatar….

Recently in the UK newspaper The Sun, a transsexual filmmaker was arrested for allegedly locking her children in dog cages, forcing them to eat dog food and then posting videos of the abuse online, apparently in an attempt to create some type of film. Her children were taken into protective custody until the investigation concludes from this incident. She was a guest on the reality TV show Kirstie Alley’s Big Life earlier this year, which I have never seen, and honestly I kinda consider all of those type of shows to be totally staged and utterly ridiculous. Her entire house was set up as a studio and her counsel has advised her to not comment on the incident at all. Last year during the Miss USA pageant Perez Hilton asked Carrie Prejean her opinion on gay marriage and was so upset with her answer, he did exactly what he ALWAYS does to get in the spotlight. Perez became quasi famous for posting snarky comments on photos of tabloid celebrities, outing gay celebrities and calling attention to homophobic actions or remarks made by other celebrities. On and on Perez went for weeks with vile insults, malicious lies, and petulant temper tantrums continually making an utterly contemptuous fool of himself. Then we have Michael Musto who jumped right into the story and he started making totally false claims that Prejean was a transexual? Musto went on and on about how obvious it was, how he knew what she “really” used to be, and loads of other snide comments. So his genius idea was to insult transexual women as a way to somehow degrade her?? Just Lovely…

There is, even now, a very persistent rumor that Ann Coulter is a transexual and it’s meant to be an insult NOT a compliment. Weather you agree with Ann Coulter or not, she is a world famous author and has sold millions of books, I personally would consider that a pretty great compliment, but that’s not how her detractors feel. Unfortunately calling Ann Coulter a transsexual is only meant to defame and insult her and all it really does is invite even more ridicule and disdain to the real transexual women by proxy. In California during the run up to the Proposition 8 vote, the gay community was so up in arms they were actually threatening people with violence, vandalizing private property and going out of their way in an all out effort to permanently damage the ENTIRE LGBT communities image. Then we have Stu Rasmussen, who is an openly transgender mayor in Oregon showing up in platform heels, a tube top, and a little miniskirt to the meeting of the Apple tree group which consisted of a bunch of students from third grade… THE THIRD GRADE! These children were there to learn about city council activities not see a stripper. Enter Archbishop Niederauer of the Catholic church who had the delightful task of dealing with the Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence when they showed up in his church to make a mockery of the Sunday service he was presiding over.

Grab your mouse and stroke the keys here in cyberspace there’s no disease, pick a time, send a tell to me, just pay, just pay a small subscription fee….

Ladies this isn’t about gay marriage, it isn’t about some misguided filmmaker, or two idiots complaining about a beauty queen they don’t like. This isn’t about a “female” mayor who is utterly clueless and bereft of even the slightest fashion sense or weather Some conservative writer IS or ISN’T a “tranny hooker” or even a group of idiotic and very misguided drag queens. When you can find newspaper headlines all over the world like these with regularly… Man robs bank dressed as a woman; Crossdresser steals woman’s credit card to buy clothes; Drunk transvestite arrested on sex charges; and on and on and on. It’s about YOU & ME!

The Sisters, Prop 8 supporters, Hilton, Musto, and “everybody loves Stu” Rasmussen ARE THE PROBLEM! These clueless wonders are just a tiny sample of the reasons why the entire LGBT community has such a horrific public image problem. Rather than shun these people as they deserve, rather than clue them in to how badly they represent us, they get lauded with praise for being “out & proud” and other utter non-sense. When you’re on facebook, or myspace, some forum and even here, YOU pick an “avatar” that represents you as a person or as your preferred image. Most of us including yours truly will pick the best photo’s we have to display, something flirty or cute, something that’s representative of who we are or even wish to be in an online community. When any of us walk out the front door into the real world and the general public though there is no cute “avatar” to hide behind. We primp for hours before we go out on the town, we try to pick the most flattering outfit, throw on the cutest accessories and viola we march out the door to get ridiculed, harassed, insulted, feared, and defamed. WHY….?

What role do you wanna play, I’m just a click away night or day and if you think I’m not the one log off, log off and we’ll be done….

The answer should be painfully obvious to anyone! We are all freaks, and weirdo’s, or intolerant, pedophile sex addicts, who are probably child molesters, and just a bunch of hateful, violent, vindictive, uneducated whores. And before you jump on the “but Michelle….I’m not like that ” bandwagon take a close look at OUR communities avatars. Pick almost any of the thousands of LGBT dating, community, forums, flickr and other online image sites and WHAT pray tell ladies do you see over and over again? Almost as much sleaze and foul language as you would in a $.50 cent peep show. Granted there are some women who are so lacking in self esteem that they crave any and all attention they can get from whatever the source. This is usually cured quickly by the ridicule they draw to themselves or the stalkers who follow them home just because “she was asking for it” in their stalkers warped little minds. Sadly that isn’t always the case, a large portion of the LGBT community has absolutely no idea how damaging their attitude is to the rest of us when they are “out & proud” in public. The number of men who proposition me is mind-blowing and it’s not because of how I dress or what I say. It’s about the image they have of me which is developed from just seeing us in the news, porn sites, or in the online fantasy world so many girls chose to always live in.

While it’s also true that there are quite a few fantastic women in the community who are “in & respectful” like Candis Cayne, Roberta Close, Lynn Conway, and Andrea James instead of the “out & proud” group I listed above. There just are not enough of the “in & respectful” women to counter balance those who do these massive amounts of nearly irreparable harm to our fragile public image. Have I, your mildly humble digital diva made some seriously idiotic mistakes… AB.. SO.. LUT.. LY! Girls this isn’t about blame or finger pointing. WE need to take responsibility for the really bad public image we have either willfully created or allowed to go unchallenged for so long. I know it’s tough to change, I really, really do, but this kinda stuff has to end if we are EVER going to be treated with respect instead of disdain. Our public “avatars” need to be positive role models who spend time doing what’s right and not what will make them famous or get them the most attention in the newspaper. Take a really close look at the avatar our community has chosen, and then ask yourself again….

Do you still wanna date my avatar, She’s a star, and she’s way hotter than reality by far.

Wanna date my avatar…. or would you rather date the real me instead?

With love,

Michelle Hart

If you have a suggestion for a topic you would like to see addressed feel free to write me through my profile on URNA. Also, feel free to Post and Comments below. If you would like to know more about me or are just curious don’t be shy, reply.