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Out and About with Michelle Hart - Column 23

She's Just The Flavor Of The Week

The first candy on a stick, according to the National Confectionary Association, was probably created by cavemen who maintained beehives and collected honey. Due to the nature of the sticky substance, recent discoveries have hinted that cavemen, who not wanting to waste the sweet residue, may have licked these random wood utensils and thus the first unintentional lollipop, or, candy on a stick, was born. It has also been reported and verified through several archeological discoveries that ancient Arabs, Chinese and Egyptians produced fruit and nut confections which were "candied" with honey which served as a primitive preservative.

During the middle ages in all of Europe, sugar was a very costly and imported luxury item, thus making any kind of candy extremely expensive to anyone who wanted it. By the 17th Century, as sugar became more plentiful, it was considered a real delicacy throughout England to enjoy these boiled sugar candy treats. As such, it wasn't enjoyed exclusively by just the British nobility and the very wealthy anymore. Hard candy such as horehound drops, lemon drops and peppermint and wintergreen lozenges became commonplace and new candies were created daily. In order to make this still expensive treat last longer the sugar was boiled and formed into hard blocks, and to make them easier to eat, it's reported that these candy treats were also made complete with sticks which often included very ornate handles. These were often inserted into these hard block candies by hand. Although this might be considered the initial advent of the bulk candy industry, it's difficult to pinpoint precisely. There still remain several discrepancies as to whom the true creator of what we today might consider a lollipop.

With the discovery of sugar beet juice and the onset of the industrial revolution, the confectionary industry blossomed like never before. As with so many other technical innovations, the 20th century ushered in the era of automation and this is where the true history or the birth of the lollipop really begins. As early as 1905, the McAviney Candy Company which is now gone, may have stumbled upon the lollipop by default. The owner created several boiled hard candies which were stirred by stick in the large vats. At day's end, and as a simple treat for his children, McAviney would bring home these stir sticks covered with the leftover hard candy residue. Although hard evidence does not exist as to when the first candy on a stick was sold, if true, this would make the McAviney Candy Company the first to actually offer mass produced lollipops.

In 1908 in Racine, Wisconsin, the first automated lollipop production machine was invented by the Racine Confectionary Machine Company, not out of ingenuity but rather in the call of service. This innovative, and also now closed, company invented the machine whose sole purpose was to find a way to put hard candy on the end of a stick. The output of their machine was 2400 lollipops per hour which is an astounding 57,000 lollipops in one single day. This was in 1908, which the Racine Confectionary Company believed would be able to satisfy the consumer market for candies for an entire year. For a little interesting comparison to the many modern candy companies such as Spangler Candy Company, which makes the "Dum Dum Lollipops", the "Saf-T-Pop", and countless other lollipop favorites; Spangler can produce up to 3,000,000 candies per day with it's current machines and those hardly satisfy the nation's current cravings.

The Racine Confectionary Company held the title of the creator of the mass produced lollipop until approximately 1912 when Samuel Born, a Russian immigrant and entrepreneur, invented a machine whose sole purpose was to automatically insert sticks into candy. The City of San Francisco considered this candy innovation so amazing that they awarded him the keys to the city in 1916. Ever restless and a true lover of confectionaries, Born is also credited with inventing Sprinkles or, as they are affectionately called on the East Coast, Jimmies. These are the candy toppings often found on desserts and ice cream. This idea stemmed from his desire to use every portion of the byproducts of creating lollipops. By looking at the definition, linguists have surmised that the term "lollipop" may have been derived from the many street vendors in London during the age of Charles Dickens. Unfortunately, no one knows exactly when the lollipop was created, but we do know that it is one of the most popular candies in existence.

She paints her nails, and she don't know he's got her best friend on the phone. She'll wash her hair, his dirty clothes, or all he gives to her.

Well girls with the summer heat doing all it can to melt us with it's oven like fury, how about we settle for a little ice cold lemonade this time as we gather for another sweet and delicious literary treat. I've polished the silver and drawn the crisp white linens for this fanciful romp into candy land. As they say sugar and spice make every girl nice, so shall we settle in for a confection sure to drive you wild as we wrap our slender well manicured fingers around some candy on a stick? From the stone age to the modern age finding a confection that perfectly suits you has been one of man's great quest's. Any time you endeavor to improve your life or find a little sugar to beat back the taste of stale porage it's going to be difficult, but it doesn't always need to be. Often it's simply not knowing what you REALLY want beyond that fancy wrapper and a slick media induced sales pitch. There are some things in life that are just wonderful to snack on without the need of an army of lawyers telling you it is. Often we fear trying new flavors, sampling new candies, or worry to much about those dreaded pounds going to our hips rather than other places. If you need some clarification, have you seen how fast my own hips have expanded? Lord have mercy! If my behind gets any bigger the post office has assured me they will make arrangements for my own zip code. I may even have to swear of chocolate and ice cream forever. Not!

There is so much that makes any kind of relationship work it's almost innumerable to mention them all. One of the key components though, for any woman, is to always be appreciative yet not become deceptively saccharin sweet. Always make sure your candy coating is unmarred and sparkles under the most passing glance. Whenever you go out always make sure that glossy wrapper isn't too faded from sitting in a warehouse too long or noticeably worn in any way. Keep your packaging just as vibrant as the day it was printed to show the world just how absolutely appealing you can be. While it's wonderful to get dolled up for a night on the town or that special guy there is just so much more to it than lipstick and high heels. Every woman is different and has her own secret recipe to maximize how sweet or sour she will end up once she leaves the candy factory and every thing that happens from the moment she enters that production line until the time she hit's the store shelf will affect not only her price but how tasty a treat she will eventually be. Finding a good confectioner is only the start but if you really want to understand the myriad of choices available simply look to the stars for a sample of what's available.

And he's got posters on the wall Of all the girls he wished she was. And he means everything to her.

While it may be fun to dream about being a yummy little lemon drop, or a soft little gummy bear you just can't possibly ever be both. Once all the differing ingredients are stirred together, regardless of what they are, you will end up simply as one or the other..... Never both. Once you go through that oven and hit the assembly line there is no changing your mind or second chances unless you have a lot of money and time to burn. While each of us can often be sickly sweet, tart, sour and a dozen other flavors in our own odd way, it's those difficult decisions early on which will determine how we will eventually end up. For the vast majority of women who undertake this tedious process of transition from one confection to another, the thought of doing it all for some would be suitor or to please an unknown benefactor online is never even considered. I didn't change my candy coating for you, and I'm fairly confident you had no intention of trading in your old wrapper just to please me. My dear reader it's a deeply personal decision and has numerous unforeseen consequences. Weeks in some old stale warehouse, untold hours pouring over the latest color charts to figure out how you would like the package to eventually look. There are the endless calculations about production times, delivery schedules, and shipping cost's any girl must also consider.

Once all of those little details are finally figured out and you're lucky enough to make it all the way to the store shelf with that delightful logo, that overly suggestive slogan, a delightfully colorful package, and a list of ingredients that would make Hugh Hefner blush fifty shades of crimson, what could possibly be next you ask? Well my wonderful reader continue on down the candy isle to find that elusive sugar rush...

Her boyfriend, He don't know Anything About her. He's too stoned, Nintendo. I wish that I could make her see, She's just the flavor of the weak.

I can't count the number of times I've had the utterly clueless seek me out. I often wonder if it's just the massive neon sign above my head flashing "insult me" that could possibly have something to do with it. Recently I was just going through the never ending stream of mindless notes I get on one of the many sites I frequent and was PM'd by some would be Romeo. Well the inevitable question came up again, which I just love to get all the time, besides what better way to devalue me as a woman than to make everything about what may or may not be going on down there. Yes boy's and girl's "IT" was all about "IT" in this would be Romeo's mind. My library of contemporary literature, massive platform heels collection, numerous leather miniskirts, long red talons, and the colorful assortment of seductive lingerie was just not enough. When you mix in a healthy dose of dozens of different surgeries and a constant stream of strange medications you never know exactly what flavor will appeal to others. In this case, it was all about the ingredients and not the packaging.

You see, this poor insensitive shlub just expected me to already have everything done for him so he would be able to enjoy the benefits and delightful payoff without any real investment. Ladies sometimes a 29" waist and luscious child bearing hips just won't do the trick. In his case I was the wrong flavor without him ever taking a lick. Who knows maybe I'm just to sour, or maybe to sweet, but this fella will never know. My brilliant prose, my charm, the always questionable witty banter I dispense, and my unyielding commitment to fashion excellence wasn't worthy in his opinion. His sole interest in me as a woman was when, if, would I and did I have "it" done. In that one brief moment my extremely intimate & very personal decision to have "it" done or when I had "it" done, without ANY support financially or emotional from him I should add, and a going rate of around $40,000.00 in this market, was paramount. Well girls, it sure wont be anytime soon that he finds out one way or the other. He never even considered my feelings in his insensitive zeal to get what he wanted. There are many women who chose not to go all the way for their own reasons, but for him the content of my knickers was all he really cared about.

You see like most men he really just wanted the ultra feminine sexpot A.K.A. super pornstar hottie, but just couldn't be bothered with pulling out his wallet to make the purchase. Sometimes I really feel like the girls you see giving away free samples in the grocery store. There is a never ending line of people looking for that free candy treat, but nay the noble prince willing to pay. High quality confections are not cheap, and no matter how sweet of a confection you may be, there will always be hoodlums looking for a handout. The down side is this kind of behavior by any potential suitor can lead a girl to becoming quite jaded in how she deals with any men who show up. That's not to say being wary of all their actions isn't warranted, but that every girl should always be mindful of what's really going on behind those rose colored glasses he is wearing in the candy store.

Typically men want it all, the super hot pornstar girlfriend that can ramble off the current commodities market pricing indexes, reads and quotes Shakespeare with ease, can confidently discuss quantum physics, takes five minutes to get dressed for a state dinner, has a black card, never suffers from PMS, relishes nascar, football or baseball, always follows them politically, eagerly wants to drop to her knees anywhere and anytime, and is a god like Kung Fu genius.

It's Friday night and she's all alone, He's a million miles away. She's dressed to kill, but the TV's on, He's connected to the sound.

Every day she is a new and exciting flavor. Sometimes she is blond ambition, the auburn tressed vixen, or occasionally just a raven haired seductress. It absolutely shouldn't ever take more than a moment to transform from one to the other and these dramatic changes shouldn't ever cost him a dime. Fantasy girls like us should always be packed into the sheerest black lace with crisp satin bow's, preferably the twins should be practically falling out yet at the same time completely hidden. We must exemplify Margaret Thatcher's class and strength, Angelina Jolie's sex appeal, with Mother Teresa's morality all in one unquestionably loyal golden retriever package. Oh and it's also imperative that we adore that frilly little French Maid outfit we wear every day as we cook, clean, and make the bed with freshly starched linens. With a wanton smile, his martini chilled and ready, we gleefully just drop whatever we may be doing just because he needs it? Gaining any weight is strictly verboten because it might just result with him working late much more often with that bitch from accounting several extra nights per week.

When we simply request that he have a decent car, a decent job, a little ambition, be seen in public with us and not be a total cad, it's an imposition of epic proportions. You see we must be his eye candy perpetually, but when it comes to our wishes about a scrumptious little treat, or a well timed romantic interlude it's just overbearing. Honestly one of the sweetest things a man ever did for me was to go out before I woke up and bring me a Jimmy Dean breakfast biscuit on a paper plate. Talk about heaven! For less than twenty dollars my heart melted, just imagine how incredible it would be if he was willing to help a little on the factory floor with some of the more expensive ingredients.

And he's got pictures on the wall Of all the girls he's loved before, And she knows all his favorite songs.

A while ago I chatted online with a very well know business mogul. For a while as we sent notes back and fourth he went on and on about his world travels, and this project or that, but in the end I was just the flavor of the week for him. He was so desperate to talk with me, and overly dramatic with his desire for it, but just couldn't find the time to get in his private jet to fly out for a romantic dinner sometime with me. I watched him on TV, commented on his new book, and was my usual charming self to no avail. There was always a poor excuse or some unforeseen reason that kept him away. While he wouldn't admit it, what it really was is plain old cowardice about being seen with me and an unfounded fear of some ridiculous public image fiasco that kept him from acting like an adult. Nobody makes an issue of being seen on the red carpet with Candice Cain, do they? Obviously I'm far below her in notoriety, but seriously, who cares what kind of candy you like?

The vast majority of us will always be just the flavor of the week regardless of who or what we are and how far along the path we have gone. Ladies don't delude yourselves in to thinking your special and somehow different. Many have, and its been severely detrimental to their carriers and personal lives. Transition isn't easy for us, though like the many men wandering around the candy shop looking at the choices continue to foolishly think it may be. Once you pick out which flavor you plan on becoming and work to get that plastic fantastic wrapper with a it's sugary gel coat, all sales are final and there really is no turning back.

Like Samuel Born, we do it for the absolute love of the confection, NOT some deep seated desire to be the occasional free sample, experiment or weekend diversion of married and curious men. Lollipops come in all shapes and sizes and girls like us offer over a million varieties from which to choose.

Whether you want a Charms Lollipop, Tootsie Pop or a lollipop with a cricket, our unique candy selection is second to none.

Wanna Lick?

With love,

Michelle Hart

If you have a suggestion for a topic you would like to see addressed feel free to write me through my profile on URNA. Also, feel free to Post and Comments below. If you would like to know more about me or are just curious don't be shy, reply.


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