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Message from a Member - Summer 2017

Maybe its a life change or the fact that I tend to be up in the middle of the night more often. In fact, its 1 am here and the neighborhood, aside from a few barking dogs here and there, its pretty much quiet. Its a good time for me to think and let my mind expound without distractions.

So, I guess this is my re-introduction back into the universe of unique content!

Lots of themes tonight to this one, but I'll try and keep to the road without pulling off too many times.

First, and most importantly, a genuinely good person I know at URNA reminded me of something a few days ago, and I've been trying to put words to it. Its complicated, and I tend to sort out the weeds to find the flowers (rose colored glasses here lol)

Simply, it was a question about going out in public as a female, taking that next step that a lot of women (and yes, men too!) struggle with. I had to step back and re think what I went through, during that time of confusion. So with much reverence and thoughtfulness, I'm going to break out my tool kit... my secret weapon on how to deal with fear. Please excuse me while I have all of my newest favorite books and notes out. I make a lot of notes!

Some of the newest thoughts on fear in the academics are now focusing on defining your fears, instead of goals. I have to admit, I really like this thought process. Because it causes you to immediately address what is scary to you. It causes you to engage a part of yourself, your core, in having a conversation with yourself. I've always been a fan of talking to yourself. We tend to forget that we have an amazing intellect that just needs to be tapped into. And what better way to do that than just having a moment to yourself? Find a place and time where you like to be, and just do that simple exercise, talking to yourself.

I encourage you to take away the distractions of life and once in a while, like twice a month, take some time to talk to yourself.

Anyway, back to the focus of this brief talk with you. Here is my three, just three, points at getting over anything.

One, realize that its never an easy time to talk about something bad that is happening, or happened in your life.

We're really great at saying 'no more' and just shutting down and finding something else to do. We're human, we do that, and quite easily do that. We have a really good ability to distract ourselves from the things that bother us most. We're even better at choosing what to talk about and what to hide. A part of being a person is, and this is an over used term that needs a little polishing off, carrying baggage.

What I like to do is inch by inch, trim down the baggage. To find that little here and there where you can make your load lighter. Its very personal and intimate, about how we go about this. Each one of us is different in how we do that and what we choose to trim off. But staring with a conversation with yourself, will get you going in that direction, trust me.

Second Changing your beliefs.

This is another hard one to tackle. Quite simply, changing your beliefs, and it doesn't have to be all of them, requires a bit of self-renovation. This requires a little bit of courage. Where do we get courage from? Right in the heart. My favorite movie of all time is The Wizard of Oz. And the cowardly lion... well for those of you that love this movie, you see the advances that he makes. He finds courage. It doesn't happen right away. Its a process that he goes through. And as we all have to at some point, we go through a process. I like to think of courage this way, look upon your previous accomplishments and successes. Remember how that made you feel? Do this enough times and you will change a little bit, that's progress!

Third, this is the easiest... be easy on yourself.

So many people that I encounter are way too hard on themselves. They carry the baggage that I encourage people to lighten. Life is about great adventures. Seeking the unknown and being enthusiastic about going down that unknown path. It can be scary too, the unknown. We tend to not like change. For me, becoming enthusiastic was a change for me. I was never that way to start with. But with a new mindset and outlook on things as a whole, change doesn't seem that bad. The first step, and I always mention it last because its a bridge to another discussion, don't worry about that you can't change. Don't worry about the people you can't change. Just take care of yourself first, then you will find an amazing ability outside of your world that looks much brighter and adventurous.

Talk to you all soon and take care this Summer!

 

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  • Erica C 10/23/2017 06:54 Very inspiring and well worth reading. Truly touched by your words. Thank you.
  • Michelle C. 8/10/2017 06:09 Inspiring thoughts - thanks
  • marcus 8/01/2017 06:04 F-acing E-verying A=ggressively R-everse. Facing difficulties in life is never easy. I know, it takes courage to be accepted. I know, Some of you tend to mock me, butt I bounce back, not quickly as I used to inthe pastm but I bounce back. I had been questioned by others both by members and non members as to whyam I here? Simple, I conquered my FEAR and accepted all whom I interact weith are people. Not based on biological birth but rather, treat them as I wish to be treated. I turned my FEAR to acceptance From anger to happiness! I hope others can too. Thank you Pam for sharing this!

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